Queen of Spades
Apr 19, 20201 min
Hello all. Queen of Spades here. It's Day 19 of National Poetry Month. I present another poem from Private Pain: Amidst These Ashes. It's entitled "Damaged".
When one is in a toxic relationship, it can be difficult to get out. There are other factors that play a role with hesitation. It's very risky.
He loves hating me too much
To let me love without him.
I hate me too much
To see myself without him.
He loves controlling me too much
To let me truly be me.
I love my life too much
To see what would occur
If I’d just be me.
He loves raping me too much
To let anyone else
Make love to me.
My body’s damaged way too much
To even let anyone else
Even hug me.
He loves reminding me too much
That I am nothing without him.
And I’ve forgotten so very much
Of what I was before him.
My soul hurts,
But I can’t decide
If it hurts more
Than all the pain
I’m hiding.
My heart breaks,
But I can’t decide
If it hurts more
Than the jaw
He “accidentally” cracked
While we were riding.
Staying with him, enduring living death.
Fleeing from him, being stalked to my death.
In either case,
A price I must pay.
Either way,
I’m just …