• Queen of Spades

Poetry Feature 22: How a Garden Grows

Hello everyone! Queen of Spades here. Happy Earth Day to all. For the next three days, the poetry featured in honor of National Poetry Month will come from my contributions in Waves to Light, co-authored with MJ Holman.





Waves to Light is the 2nd project I've done with MJ Holman (the first being The Sea of Conscience). Both collections deal with battling mental illness and its stigma. I chose to focus more on Waves to Light because the amount of poetry was about a 50/50 split.




Now that the backdrop is set, I am going to share "How a Garden Grows". It is a metaphorical look of struggle, trying to exist in normalcy while being in a dark place.


How a Garden Grows


Have you ever felt like an outsider

In your own life:

That you are just an actress

Playing a role

In something you never auditioned for?


You’re still there, wondering what you’re waiting for?


Waiting for a better that doesn’t exist?

Waiting for a tomorrow that will never come?

Waiting for a clarity that’s blocked out?


No … blacked out!


Blacked out … by fits of stupidity:

Ticks discarding you into abysses

Corrupted by the stench of pain

You tried to conceal with bountiful blossoms

Of too wide smiles and too frequent nods.

You watered them with too much “it’s okay”

“Doing just fine” and “have a beautiful day”


… no beautiful day in the neighborhood;

There’s no Mr. Rogers with a serenade.


This whole garden’s a fraud!

The premise was never any good!


For as long as your life’s fertilizer

Is an endless supply of lies,

Your soul is primed for damnation:

Already the ground’s maggot food.





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